Integration
Wild Twins in Partnership
Eighteen months ago, I learned about my wild twin. One year ago, I let her take the lead when she asked for a seat at the table. Today I’m happy to share how my twins have integrated in order to move forward in partnership.
If you are unfamiliar with the concept of a wild twin, check out the story of The Lindworm as told by mythologist and author Martin Shaw. This is storytelling at its best. Shaw delivers an enchanted telling of this beautiful and horrific story as only someone of his caliber can do.
In 2022, I was a burned-out shell of a human that was “crazy busy” managing a successful corporate career that journeyed through the maze of go-to-market strategy while navigating the turbulence that comes with mergers and acquisitions. I still made time to explore my entrepreneurial longings with side hustles hoping that one of them would take off allowing me to step away from the corporate grind “someday.”
After striving and reaching a significant career milestone, I found myself feeling empty instead of fulfilled. Once the shimmer of reaching the VP level at a mid-market technology company wore off, I was left wondering what was next. Should I continue to strive for senior VP? Then what? I knew I didn’t want to be chief of anything given what I watched executives at that level endure. Their health suffered. They had little time in their lives for anything but the company. There appeared to be no off button. I didn’t want that for myself.
It was about that time that I found myself exploring and admiring the majesty of Scotland. At a 4,000-year-old ceremonial burial ground, I had an encounter with a special stone that started me on a path that ultimately changed my life. You can read more about that here if you like.
That stone led me to wild seminary where my studies brought me to Martin Shaw and the concept of a wild twin. I soon realized how my longing for “someday” actually dampened parts of my soul and ultimately put me on a path to burnout. I had dreams of writing, leading retreats, spending gobs of time in enchanted forests, and being of service to others. But for who and how?
This was my wild twin calling out from the shadows.
I lovingly like to call my wild twin, Babs, which is my childhood nickname. Babs grew up in a very small town on an 80-acre farm in New York state. She played outside for hours. She frolicked in the creek, watched fireflies dance in meadows and stuffed wild blackberries in her mouth until the juice ran down her chin. She used her imagination to create fantasy worlds for her own entertainment. Babs came from glitter and is enchanted by the light of the moon. She is definitely the wild one.
Barbara, her twin, was the good girl. She was the pleaser. She wanted good grades and to do everything right. For the most part she did. She enjoyed a successful career with promotions every two years or so. She followed the rules and did what she thought she should do most of the time. She would “should” on herself a lot.
Occasionally Babs would pop out especially in the side hustles. She was excited to try new things, but it wasn’t until Barbara became too exhausted to keep going one more day that Babs had an opportunity to take over. I wrote about the point Babs took the lead in this piece called “Living Life in Balance.”
For much of 2024, Babs was in control. She tried on so many new things. She co-led two different retreats. She taught people how to smashbook. She made crazy art. She wrote a story about an enchanted forest and did her first public reading while standing IN an actual enchanted forest. She became a certified life coach. She helped new entrepreneurs launch their businesses. She continued her studies and deepened her eco-spiritual practices. Most importantly she let Barbara rest.
In November I attended executive and leadership coaching certification. After three intense days on zoom learning about the ins and outs of executive coaching something clicked. Barbara realized how much she could offer her clients from her 25+ years of professional experience. Babs could compliment the career bits with mindfulness techniques to help professionals stay centered as a whole person - mind, body and spirit. An integration had begun.
Over the last few weeks, I have finally begun to feel whole again. I no longer have one part of me that is exhausted. I’m excited and ready for 2025. Through my wild twin integration two programs have emerged as part of my work at Find Your Frolic. Each one draws on parts of me in different ways, yet they are equal and balanced. I’ll let you decide who is in charge of which one. ;-)
Executive Coaching works with clients one-on-one to hold space for personal and professional transformation into wholeness - mind, body and spirit.
The Enchanted Entrepreneur Circle combines one-on-one coaching with a group mastermind to help nature-connected entrepreneurs grow and scale their business.
Explore Your Own Wild Twin
If you would like to explore your own wild twin and thus your journey into wholeness, let’s chat. I’d love to learn more about you and help you find your frolic.
Be well and frolic on!
In addition to writing, Barbara Doane is an executive coach and entrepreneurial doula. She works with individuals one-on-one to help them find clarity of purpose and birth their ideas out into the world. Work with Barbara to create a life that regenerates instead of depletes your soul. Our time here is limited. Stop waiting for “someday.” It’s time to Find Your Frolic today.
